Becoming Part of the Story...

Wow.  So I haven't written a new post in almost a year, which is ridiculous.  I have really been wanting to get back into blogging, but I I've been busy and didn't really know where to begin.  Sooo much has happened this year!  But when I looked at the challenges, successes, and changes that I've been through, they all seem to boil down to one thing, which is my topic tonight: Becoming Part of the Story.

Many of you know that I am a writer, and I have been working on my novel "City of Secrets" for longer than I care to mention.  It has changed a lot over the years, and so have I.  But one thing that I think has been holding me back is that I've tried to write the story from a distance.  I'd much rather observe and report than jump in and join.

But I recently went through a major "revolution of spirit" which has changed every aspect of my life in ways I didn't even pursue or expect.  One of them is that I am getting involved in things and "putting myself out there," something I usually avoid.

I work at a lovely Bed & Breakfast, which is now the home setting of my main characters and has breathed new life and depth into my story.  I recently started volunteering at The Lightner Museum, which has already given me so many new ideas I get giddy when I think about it.  And next week I am going to start volunteering at the historical society library and possibly even attend a meeting of Ancient City Writers at the library!  My life feels so abundant, exciting, and purposeful, and I know it's because I'm seeking out new opportunities.

We never know where a conversation, an opened door, or a new acquaintance will lead.

“You must learn day by day, year by year to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens.” - Ethel Barrymore

Inspiration Fieldtrip: Cross Creek

One great way to get inspiration for writing is to read the work of other writers you admire.  On a recent trip to Washington Oaks State Park, I bought "Cross Creek" and "The Yearling," hoping I could get a lot of inspiration for my own writing.  I started reading Cross Creek and instantly fell in love, and started planning a fieldtrip there.

Then, as providence would have it, my family got the opportunity to stay at a cabin in Interlachen, and guess what was only 45 min. away?  Cross Creek!  It took a lot of convincing, but finally our whole family headed out for the day.  There's a State Park, where you can walk on nature trails, walk through a small citrus grove, see the barn, garden, tenant house, and even take a tour of her old cracker-style house.

She was a college graduate, married twice, had no kids, wrote 10 books and 26 short stories, and died at the young age of 57 from a brain hemorrhage.  Even though she's lived in in various places throughout the US, it is clear that her time at Cross Creek was special, and I can see why.  She wrote her best works here, among the orange trees, dirt roads, and wildlife.

She wanted to pass this inspirational gift to others- and bequeathed her property to Rollins College to be used as a writers retreat.  Unfortunately, that dream would never be realized.  But as a National Park, writers like me can at least visit and be inspired.


"Enchantment lies in different things for each of us.  For me, it is in this: to step out of the bright sunlight into the shade of orange trees; to walk under the arched canopy of their jadelike leaves, to see the long aisles of lichened trunks stretch ahead in geometric rhythm; to feel the mystery of a seclusion that yet has shafts of light striking through it.  This is the essence of an ancient and secret magic." - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Free to Choose

I was talking with a friend the other day about agency.  He said so many people just accept their life the way it is, because they feel like they have no idea how capable they are of changing it.  Sometimes we are afraid to want beautiful things for ourselves, afraid that we won't get what we want, that we don't deserve it, that it will be different than we dreamed.  I've been thinking tonight about the things that hold us back.

And so, I present to you... the 5 d's : distraction, delay, discouragement, defeat, and doubt.

Any accomplishment takes focus, and in this world of tv, radio, internet, ipods, cell phones, (etc. etc.) there is plenty to be distracted by.  Women are especially susceptible to this because we are chronic multi-taskers. I mean, I'm watching "Mickey's Christmas Carol" while I'm typing this.  Thus, proving my point.

And who doesn't want what they want NOW?  The hardest part about wanting something is waiting for it.  Whether it's a car, a house, falling in love, getting married, or something as simple as going to sleep, it can be painful to wait for the things we want, especially if we see others getting these things "easily."

When it takes longer than we feel it should to get something, or when things don't come as easily as we'd like them to, we can become discouraged.  It's an interesting word, meaning a lack of courage, hope, or confidence.  Lacking these qualities can make getting things done difficult.

When we allow discouragement to linger too long, it can turn into feeling defeated.  We can't win all the time, we can't get everything we want, and that's okay.  In fact, it's great, because knowing the bitterness of defeat makes the successes sweeter.  

Last but not least is Doubt, something I am very familiar with.  I will second guess every idea, every sentence, every word of my book until I am exhausted and my poor book is huddled in a corner crying and rocking back and forth.  But I know this is a result of doubt in myself, not doubt in my story.


I suppose in this world there are things that break down and things that build up.  For every "D" there is an antidote.  For distraction, Focus.  For delay, Patience.  For discouragement, Courage.  For defeat, Perseverance.  And for doubt, Faith.  As we infuse our lives with these antidotes, we will be empowered to direct the course of our lives and become the people we are destined to be.

  

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” From “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss

About My Book..

Last night I was hanging out with an old friend who asked what my book was about.  As I told her, I got wrapped up in the story all over again and realized how much I believe in it.  I also realized that between 2 sisters' birthdays, Thanksgiving, work, and all of the fun I've been having, I haven't worked on it in about a week!  That is unacceptable.  

Some of you  read the first draft of my book last year, and some of you know the general idea of the story, but for the rest of you, here is a synopsis, kind of a back-cover description.  Also, as I am going to try to finish the second draft by the end of the year and publish as an ebook, I am working on some cover ideas.  Please let me know what you think.  This is my favorite so far.  It's a picture of St. Aug at sunset, and the font feels kind of ancient and mysterious, and there's a lot of symbolism with light and dark, so I wanted to incorporate that as well.  Anyway, here's the synopsis:

Alex and her two younger sisters have lived with their grandmother in the strange old town of St. Augustine since the mysterious death of their mother eight years ago.  But on the night of Alex's eighteenth birthday she discovers a family secret so terrifying that she runs away without even saying goodbye.  When she returns ten years later, she must face the traumatic events of her past and many changes, including a beloved family member who no longer remembers her, a sister who hates her, and the reemergence of a gift she always thought was a curse.  As she seeks to reclaim the life she once abandoned, she initiates a series of events that will push her to the brink of sanity, endanger the lives of those she loves, and change the ancient city forever.  

Balancing Acts

There is so much in this world competing for our attention that it's overwhelming sometimes.  When we are young adults, still figuring out the basic big questions of our lives, this can be even more complicated.  Education, dating, exercising, family time, developing our talents, work, doing things we love... we can't do all of it at once and yet it's all important.  Finding a balance is not only essential to our sanity, it helps us to relieve stress, reduce anxiety and depression, and live more pleasant, well-rounded lives.

So how do we balance all of these aspects of our lives?  The internet is filled with ideas for this, like: decluttering your life, learning to delegate, keeping track of your time, learning when to really dedicate yourself to a task and when to let things go, being organized, and being true to ourselves.  Balance will mean something different to each of us, because each of us has different ideas of what is important, and this is good.  Our diversity is what makes us interesting.

For me the problem has always been fitting in each of the things I love to do, plus each of the things I need to do, without getting obsessive about any of them.  When there's something I don't like to do, I'll try not to do it at all.  When there's something I love, I'll spend hours getting lost in it (I'm thinking of you, awesome puzzle).  But either way it's an extreme, and so I'm trying to find a balance.  The whole "dailies" thing helps, and I am starting to get into the swing of things with my new jobs.  

I have to be strict with myself though.  I have to say "Okay, Megan... you can work on your book from 9-12, but then you need to do the dishes.  Then you can write new articles for John from 1-3, and then go for a walk.  You can post 2 new articles for Visitsouth.com, and then you can relax and do whatever you feel like doing."  I like this way of life.

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." -  Thomas Merton

Doubt, Thou Shalt Die

As kids we think we can do anything.  We are excited by every accomplishment no matter how small, and can't wait to show somebody.
Ever been around a kid when they're in the "watch this!" stage?  They think everything they do is fascinating and incredible.
But as we grow up, our confidence can fade until it seems to disappear completely.  How did we become these anxious, negative, awkward, insecure adults?  Thoughts like this steal away our time, our happiness, and our strength.  Self doubt is the greatest obstacle standing between who we are and who we are capable of being.
So how can we overcome self-doubt and embrace our inner awesomeness?  
1. Improve your self-esteem.  
    To esteem is to respect, admire, or like.  So make a list about what you respect, admire, or like about yourself.  What accomplishments, talents, and qualities make you special?
2. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
    It may be that we are what we think, rather than what we eat.  Create a phrase that says confidently that you are whatever qualities are important to you, and say it often. 
3. Stop worrying.
    This does not mean stop caring, we are not robots.  Rather, it's like the old prayer- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
4. Face your fears.
     Ever notice the scary movie isn't so scary once you see the monster/killer/ghost?  Fear is the same way.  Once we identify exactly what it is we are afraid of, we weaken it's power over us.  Then we can see clearly how to overcome it.
5. Open up.
     Doubt and fear are contracting emotions, they cause us to shrink away from possibilities.  The opposite of these emotions are confidence and courage.  We have to take risks, be a little vulnerable, and open ourselves up to all of the opportunities life has to offer us.


The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.  ~Sylvia Plath

I Heart Lists

Also inside my crazy orange binder is a list of qualities it takes to make a book good: the perfect setting, intriguing characters, a dynamic plot, motivation & determination to see it through, and a good writer.  A good writer: studies other writers' work, knows their audience, improves their technique, increases their creativity, expands their vocabulary, and writes often.
Simple enough, right? WRONG.
Because for every big "to do" there are a million little "to do's," and sometimes figuring out what they are is the hardest part of all.  So I challenged myself today to make a list of all the little "to do's" that are making up the big "to do" of getting my books published, even the ones that are "to done." (That way I can see that I have already made a lot of progress even though I have a LOT more to do.)