Free to Choose

I was talking with a friend the other day about agency.  He said so many people just accept their life the way it is, because they feel like they have no idea how capable they are of changing it.  Sometimes we are afraid to want beautiful things for ourselves, afraid that we won't get what we want, that we don't deserve it, that it will be different than we dreamed.  I've been thinking tonight about the things that hold us back.

And so, I present to you... the 5 d's : distraction, delay, discouragement, defeat, and doubt.

Any accomplishment takes focus, and in this world of tv, radio, internet, ipods, cell phones, (etc. etc.) there is plenty to be distracted by.  Women are especially susceptible to this because we are chronic multi-taskers. I mean, I'm watching "Mickey's Christmas Carol" while I'm typing this.  Thus, proving my point.

And who doesn't want what they want NOW?  The hardest part about wanting something is waiting for it.  Whether it's a car, a house, falling in love, getting married, or something as simple as going to sleep, it can be painful to wait for the things we want, especially if we see others getting these things "easily."

When it takes longer than we feel it should to get something, or when things don't come as easily as we'd like them to, we can become discouraged.  It's an interesting word, meaning a lack of courage, hope, or confidence.  Lacking these qualities can make getting things done difficult.

When we allow discouragement to linger too long, it can turn into feeling defeated.  We can't win all the time, we can't get everything we want, and that's okay.  In fact, it's great, because knowing the bitterness of defeat makes the successes sweeter.  

Last but not least is Doubt, something I am very familiar with.  I will second guess every idea, every sentence, every word of my book until I am exhausted and my poor book is huddled in a corner crying and rocking back and forth.  But I know this is a result of doubt in myself, not doubt in my story.


I suppose in this world there are things that break down and things that build up.  For every "D" there is an antidote.  For distraction, Focus.  For delay, Patience.  For discouragement, Courage.  For defeat, Perseverance.  And for doubt, Faith.  As we infuse our lives with these antidotes, we will be empowered to direct the course of our lives and become the people we are destined to be.

  

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” From “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss

Balancing Acts

There is so much in this world competing for our attention that it's overwhelming sometimes.  When we are young adults, still figuring out the basic big questions of our lives, this can be even more complicated.  Education, dating, exercising, family time, developing our talents, work, doing things we love... we can't do all of it at once and yet it's all important.  Finding a balance is not only essential to our sanity, it helps us to relieve stress, reduce anxiety and depression, and live more pleasant, well-rounded lives.

So how do we balance all of these aspects of our lives?  The internet is filled with ideas for this, like: decluttering your life, learning to delegate, keeping track of your time, learning when to really dedicate yourself to a task and when to let things go, being organized, and being true to ourselves.  Balance will mean something different to each of us, because each of us has different ideas of what is important, and this is good.  Our diversity is what makes us interesting.

For me the problem has always been fitting in each of the things I love to do, plus each of the things I need to do, without getting obsessive about any of them.  When there's something I don't like to do, I'll try not to do it at all.  When there's something I love, I'll spend hours getting lost in it (I'm thinking of you, awesome puzzle).  But either way it's an extreme, and so I'm trying to find a balance.  The whole "dailies" thing helps, and I am starting to get into the swing of things with my new jobs.  

I have to be strict with myself though.  I have to say "Okay, Megan... you can work on your book from 9-12, but then you need to do the dishes.  Then you can write new articles for John from 1-3, and then go for a walk.  You can post 2 new articles for Visitsouth.com, and then you can relax and do whatever you feel like doing."  I like this way of life.

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." -  Thomas Merton